The bar is always high and the “musts” are always abundant, so there’s a strong sense of safety. They raise children who are provoked to rebellion. This kind of parent doesn’t express love and affection well, but is high on discipline. They don’t purposely desire to neglect their kids, but they don’t know how to deal with their own issues adequately and don’t have the tools to be healthy parents. They may simply be in the midst of their own traumas and chaos, like an addiction or an abusive situation. The parents’ neglect may not necessarily be intentional. Their children tend to grow up with no lasting relationship with Mom or Dad. This kind of parent doesn’t express much love and also doesn’t discipline. Their parents are generally fearful, afraid of messing up and damaging their children’s psyche, so they never set firm boundaries. The kids feel loved, but they are never sure of their limits. The study revealed that permissive parents tend to produce children with very low self-esteem and feelings of inferiority. Represents parents who are high in love but low in discipline. He put his research results on a grid that measured discipline and relational affection and discovered four parenting styles:

In Chip Ingram’s book, Effective Parenting in a Defective World, he relates the research of sociologist Reuben Hill who conducted a study of thousands of families and how their parenting style affected their children. What is your parenting approach? Where did you learn how to be a mom or dad? Was it from your parents? From friends, or a book? Or are you just winging it? What is your parenting style? “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.’ - Ephesians 6:1-4 (ESV) ‘Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Posted Jby Gary Combs & filed under Parenting, Religion, Weblogs. 4 imperatives for raising up children in the Lord

Boundaries bible study chip ingram